10 НАЧИНА ДА ПОКАЖЕМ ЛЮБОВТА СИ НА БЛИЗЪК С ДЕПРЕСИЯ

„Страдам от депресия откакто бях дете. Тя е строга, бих казала непреходна, константа в живота ми“. Научих се вда живея с нея. Дори сега, когато съм в по-добър период от всякога, след едногодишна терапия, отново понякога я усещам как се прокрадва мълчешком зад гърба ми. Описвам я на съпруга си като демон, ядящ ума ми. Цитираните по-долу препоръки за приближените на страдащите от клинична депресия, са истински полезни и болезнено необходими на всеки от нас.“

Светлана, 39 год.

 

Обичате ли някой с депресия?

 

Ако имате близък или партньор с депресия, възможно е да не знаете как точно да покажете любовта си към страдащия. В един ден те може да са щастливи, благоразположени, а на следващия тъжни, отблъскващи ви, затворени и сякаш потънали в себе си. Важно е да знаете, че като близък, доверен и любящ човек, вие сте в състояние да облекчите и да помогнете много на депресирания човек. За да се сведат до минимум последващи депресивни епизоди, подкрепата е от изключително значение. Душевното страдание е протича с еднакъв, дори по-мъчителен интензитет от физическите заболявания. И така, както един болен от грип, бронхит или пневмония, се нуждае от грижи и топло присъствие на близки,покосения от депресия, също.

О време на такъв период, връзката ви не е равносилна по даване, но помощта и подкрепата ви ще спомогнат за укрепване както на отношенията ви, преминали през трудност, така и на бъдещото ментално и душевно здраве на вашия любим(а).

 

  1. Помогнете им да запазят хаоса минимален.

 

Потъвайки в депресията, страдащите се чувствам като засмукани във спираловидна фуния. Всяко рутинно действие в ежедневието, сега, на тях им коства кански усилия. Възможно е мивката да се напълни с много неизмити чинии, прахта по рафтовете да завзема заплашителни височини, мръсните дрехи в коша за пране да започнат да преливат. Помогнете им в хаоса. Прибегнете към минимализъм. Хранете се в еднократни чинии и чаши, ползвайте еднократни кърпички за почистване на прах. Ако е нужно, вземете някой за помощ, докато половинката ви си стъпи на краката.

 

2.Сгответе им здравословна храна

 

Партньорите ви могат да прибегнат към две крайности по отношение на храната, когато са в депресия. Да спрат да се хранят изобщо или да започнат да се тъпчат и да преяждат. С огледа на това да се щадят, тъй като са с чувство за преумора и в тотална апатия, могат да решат , че закупуването на готови продукти, джънк, пици или онлайн поръчки е най-добрия избор. Това, от своя страна може да не се отрази добре и на външния вид, и на бюджета, и не на последно място на здравето. Влошаването на външния вид на всеки болен, влошава категорично и депресивното им състояние и те се завъртат в омагьосан кръг на тъпчене с храна и прогресиращо страдание.

Намерете рецепти за здравословна кухня и приготвяйте полезни и вкусни неща за половинките си.

 

3.Изведете ги навън                                          hug2

 

Бенефитите и ползата от пребиваването навън за човека с депресия са безспорни. И също така безспорно е категоричното им нежелание да излизат. Проявете креативност и настойчивост. Изведете ги според природата, на пикник. Ако можете, отидете на екскурзия. Нямайте очаквания към тях да бъдат радостни или благодарни изведнъж. Проявете търпение и разбиране. Слънцето е източник на витамин Д и на серотонин, хормон на щастието. Търсете топлото, но не горещо. Може да опитате да посадите нещо заедно – семена, цветя.

 

  1. Помолете ги да ви помогнат да разберете какво чувсват

 

Ако партньорът ви е способен да вербализира какво чувства, с какво се бори, какво става в ума и душата му,това ще ви улесни, Вие ще може по-добре да разберете с какво се борите и как да бъдете от полза. Още повече, че чувството за убийствена самота е основно при депресията, а нищейки неговата мъка, вие му показвате, че не е сам в страданието си.

 

5.Окуражете ги да се фокусират върху грижата за себе си!                            hug 2

 

Депресираните постепенно спират да се грижат за себе си. Къпане, прически, посещения при лекар,зъболекар, интерес към дрехи и добър външен вид – всичко това спира да има значение за тях. И това постепенно води до следващия етап, в който те категорично заявяват, че в момента са такава развалина и ненужна торба с кости, че по-скоро пречат, от колкото да има каквато и да е полза от тях. „Невъзможно е който и да е да ме обича вече..“

Помогнете им да бъдат проактивни, предложете им докато вие измиете чиниите, те да вземат душ с ароматни сол и балончета или ги насърчете са си купят нова дреха. Осигурете и мотив за целта. В това си състояние, депресираните си забраняват да изпитват каквато и да е наслада. Дайте им позволение, окуражавайте ги непрестанно!

 

  1. Прегърнете ги!

 

Изследвания са доказали, че искрена прегръдка, траеща повече от 20 секунди, освобождава химията на ниво „чувствам се по-добре“ в мозъка и дава старт на процеса по получавам-давам.

Депресираните често не искат да бъдат докосвани, но всяка спонтанна ласка , прегръдка, която е от сърце, и не очаква нищо в замяна, може да даде криле на партньора ви.

  1. Смейте се с тях!                                            hug3

 

Разказването на глупави шеги, гледането на комедии и пародии, или посещаването на стенд ъп спектакли, може да отпусне любимия ви, да му позволи да се забавлява в неговото темпо….на депресиран човек. Смехът освобождава ендорфини, които на своя страна се борят с депресивните симптоми и отчаянието.

 

8.Уверете ги, че можете да понесете техните чувства и състояние!            you are!

 

Партньорът ви вероятно се чувства безполезен, ядосан и виновен за състоянието си. Те се страхуват, че ще свършат сами и рано или късно ще ги изоставите, защото никой няма да издържи на тяхната агония.

Уверете ги, че вие сте сериозно ангажиран с тях в здраве, и болест и те няма да ви уплашат с това, че сега е болна и душата им, както не се плашите, когато страда предимно тялото.

 

9.Предизвикайте мрачните им мисли, за да ги оборите!

 

Депресираните често повтарят като развалена грамофонна плоча едно и също : „Аз не струвам, аз съм грозен, аз съм безполезен, не ставам за нищо, нищо не съм допринесъл“.

След всеки цикъл на саморазрушителни твърдения, вие упорито им изваждайте ресурсите на показ:“ Ти струваш, ти си безценен за мен, много си полезен с това и онова, и всичко, което си и си направил досега, изключително красив си в моите очи, за мен си най-красив,ставаш и сега ще ти изброя за какво, допринесе с това, онова…..без теб нямаше да се случи третото..“

 

  1. Припомнете им защо ги обичате!                                              you

 

Припомнете им всички щастливи моменти, които сте имали, Разкажете им за най-любимите ви общи преживявания. Припомнете им в кои техни качества се влюбихте. Увeрете ги, че всичко това ви дава сили да преминете сега заедно през трапа.

 

Ако ви хрумват още ценни насоки, които могат да са от полза на близките на потърпевшите, моля, допълнете списъка.

 

Полина Василева,

психолог и писател

по Пътя си

 

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