СТУДЕНА

Студено ми е

Изстивам

Изгубих се

Незнам къде отивам

cold woman

Бродя объркана, дива

Като обезумяла горска самодива

Помня, че греех

Че шумно, по детски се смеех

 

Къде съм сега?

Няма ме….

От мен се отчупи вярата в любовта.

Като тежко парче лед

се затри във вечността.

Сама се обрекох да тичам навред

и да не се намирам.

От себе си да искам да избягам

….Изстивам.

cold 2

Дано да е това!

Дано да умирам.

Без любов не се живее

Ето…вземи…..

Искам душата ми свободно да се рее

Последното пламъче вяра, едва доловимо тлее

Хайде ела –

Угаси го с един замах

Още чувам ехото на ехидния ти смях.

cold3

Очите ми красиви, замръзнала сълза

Бяха топпли, влажни,

сега са дупка, отвътре навява самота

Сърцето ми биеше лудо

от любов към теб, към живота – до полуда!

Сега е дупка, камък, мрак

не искам да умирам пак и пак.

 

Искам веднъж още да сгреша

непоправимо

и да скоча в бездната на мрака

където болка няма

нито лъжа, нито измама….

 

Изстинах.

За теб, за мен, за света.

Опитите ти подминах

От отровата ти вече пих

Всичко, което бях – УБИХ

Остави ме да умра.

Себе си и теб от НАС да спася

Греха да благословя.

 

Студено ми е

Треперя

Постепено изчезва и страха

Страха от мрака, от на Дявола гласа,

от болката, която ми причинява –

камъка, който си издялках, вместо сърце.

Още успява, някак още ме ранява,

боря се да го изтръгна с изтощените си ръце.

colddd

Да не ми тежи на тялото,

да спре да ми дупчи душата.

Да го захвърля бясно по скалата

при всички други вкаменени сърца,

които тази скала са сътворили.

 

Понеже още го обичам..

Там ще е при свои

Били са някога и те топли, с кръв и любов , наситени

наивни герои

на своите жалки романи,

но поне (успокояват се) чувството били познали.

colder

А сега изгубени, зид образували

Да се пазят от вятъра,

Студ вече не усещат

Кои били са…не се сещат..

 

Студена съм

Нямам сърце

Угаснах

Проклета да съм

Убих собственото си дете

Вярата си в доброто погубих

Избрах да се изгубя.

Да казвам винаги НЕ

Така ми е добре

Болка не усещам

Коя бях….не се сещам……

 

Pollini

 

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