КАК ДА ПОДОБРИМ САМОЧУВСТВИЕТО СИ? част 2

Продължавам с практическите насоки как човек сам да подобри самооценката си и трайно да измени начина, по който се чувства, мислейки за себе си. Ще се хвана за думата МИСЪЛ и преди да продължа с техниките, ще обърна малко внимание на начина на мислене.

Дълбоко вярвам, че когато се научим да владеем посоката на мисълта си и успеем да се превърнем в господари и на емоциите си, правим голяма крачка към само-сбъдването си!


Що касае самочувствието, има два вида мислене: песимистично и оптимистично.

Разликата е в начина,  по който хората обясняват неуспехите си.

Хората, за които е характерно песимистичното мислене, смятат, че неуспехът е постоянен. Че самите те са причината за това, заедно с техните грешки, недостатъци, слаби страни. Тези им вярвания и мисли провокират по-дълбоки процеси, чувство на безсмислие и никаква стойност. Изпадат в депресии, черни дупки, в безпомощно състояние на отчаяние. Отказват се от каквато и да е борба. Предават се.

Запомнете че: Всяка песимистична мисъл и само-саботиране се проявяват веднага в действителността, провокирайки низ от неуверени действия, последвани от сигурен провал.

Песимистите мислят, че са неудачници във всичко, че не им върви – във всичко, че нямат качества. Това идва от липса на вяра в самите тях и липса на самочувствие.

Понякога няколко срещи с психолог са напълно достатъчни за смяна на грешния модел на възприятие на самия себе си. Друг път е необходима по продължителна работа. Но ВИНАГИ има успех, след като човек с подобен проблем реши да се заобича и да посвети от времето и средствата си за лична работа със себе си в защитената среда.

Оптимистичното мислене, от своя страна, е онова, което води по пътя към постиженията.

Оптимистите смятат успеха за временно явление, а причините за случайни и нетрайни. Не се самоизяждат, не винят себе си, и най-вече – провалът не ги демобилизира.

Може да изпаднат в лошо настроение за няколко часа, дни, но това не повлиява трайно върху личната им вътрешна увереност в уменията и бъдещите им малки и големи победи.

При неуспехи , оптимистите мислят: „Така се стекоха нещата, в живота има от всичко, ще премине”. В житейски борби и тежки ситуации, те страдат, като всеки друг, но никога не губят вяра, че ще ги преодолеят и ще излезнат с вдигната глава.

Мисленето и как да го промени човек е една отделна тема, която си обещавам да разгледам в последваща статия.

 

А сега продължавам с техниките за подобряване на самочувствието:

  1. Отстоявайте твърдо позициите си. Често се оказваме в ситуации на психологически шантаж, принуда, манипулация, опити да ни вменят страх или да ни подчинят.

Въздействайки върху чувствата ви, околните целят да постигнат техните си интереси и цели. Не се огъвайте и не изневерявайте на първоначално взетото решение!

Учете се да гледате „зад” добрите намерения на онези, които целят да променят гледната ви точка. Бъдете особено бдителни, когато сте разколебан, в криза, нестабилен, недостатъчно признат и насреща ви изникват хора, които смятат, че знаят по –добре от вас , кое е „правилното„ ваше действие за напред.

Ако все пак се случи да се подведете временно по чужди идеи, не се самобичувайте като се пробудите. Вземете си урока и си сложете обицата на ухото. Това със сигурност е опит, който ще ви е направил по –силни и справящи се.

  1. Изявявайте силните и положителните си качества пред други. Може да сте с отлични резултати в дадена област , но ако не умеете да ги изтъкнете от срам или неувереност, няма да получите оценка по достойнство и зачитане в обществото. Пишете книги, свирете пред публики, реализирайте мечти и идеи. Страхувайте се, но го правете! Разказвайте за пътя си, за да се оцените, да ви оценят и да вдъхновите други след вас да направят първата, най-трудна крачка към себеактуализацията.
  2. Бъдете целенасочени! Имайте конкретни цели, към които се стремите. Нека те са в краткосрочен и в дългосрочен план. Онагледете стъпките, по които ще вървите, за да ги постигнете!

Бивайки полезни за себе си на първо място, вдъхновени и окрилени от пътя, вие сте полезни и за околните.

  1. Не позволявайте да ви обиждат и това да повлиява оценката ви за самите вас. Отнасяйте се с респект към всички хора, независимо от мястото им в обществото. Днес може те да са там , където сте вие, утре обратното.

Защитете достойнството си и прекратете отношенията си с човек, който е бил груб с вас, докато се извини и коригира. Независимо от мястото, което той заема към онзи момент в йерархията (дори и да е над вас). Ако повтори неуважителното си отношение, скъсайте окончателно отношения с него, ако не искате да изживявате разочарования отново.

Когато към вас се отправят обидни думи или действия, не се засягайте. Е касаят онзи, който ви ги изпраща. Реагирайте с абсолютно безразличие. Човек със самочувствие е сигурен в качествата си и чуждото лошото отношение не може да го засегне.

Стремете се съзнанието ви да е пълно с позитивни мисли, а душата –  добри намерения и чувства.

  1. Самосбъдвайте се!

Сбъдвайте собствените си цели, отстоявайте мнението  и възгледите си. Действайте според вашето дълбоко вътрешно убеждение.  Не позволявайте на другите да налагат мнението си  и имайте смелостта да застанете срещу мнозинството и „авторитетите”. Постъпвайте както искате, не допускайте да ви поставят условия и да бъдете принуждавани, изнудвани и да ви диктуват!

  1. Бъдете независими! Стремете се към духовна и финансова независимост. Материалната и духовна свобода са предпоставка за разгръщане на творческите ви способности и са най-големия фактор за високо самочувствие. То е несъвместимо със зависимост, паразитиране върху друг човек, смирение и покорство. Не позволявайте да ви използват – кой може да ви използва: Началникът, приятелите ви, съпругът, децата, любовникът, колегите.

17.Вземете това, което искате – сами! Не чакайте благоприятни ситуации, създайте ги. Бъдете активни, изразявайте смело желанията си и се дръжте така, сякаш те са вече сбъднат факт!

  1. Устремете се към положителни чувства и мисли. Позитивните утвърждения са в основата на високото самочувствие. Въздействат мощно върху целия човешки организъм, успокояват работата и функционирането на всички органи и процеси в тялото.

Възхищавайте се на изкуството, природата, на всичко красиво във и извън вас. Книги, музика, танц, докосвайте възвишеното. Това облагородява и повишава самочувствието.

Търсете радостта! Чувствата за споделеност, любов приятелство, щастие , топлина за извор на самочувствие.  Когато изпитвате несподелена любов, изразете вашата чрез внимание и уважение към човека, който харесват или обичате. Това е единствения начин да постигнете любовта на другия.

  1. Общувайте и се награждавайте за успехите! Избягвайте прекаленото усамотяване. То е предпоставка за свръх-анализ и самовглъбяване, които неизменно изкривяват погледа върху заобикалящата ви реалност. Появяват се лоши мисли и чувства. Понякога има и неадекватно чувство , че сте нещо ПО околните, нужда да се разграничите с аскетизъм и др. Това е вид бягство, което в крайна сметка, не води до добро. Дозиран ескапизъм при криза, при предстоящи промени и трудни решения, да останем със себе си, за да се вслушаме във вътрешния си глас е подходящо действие.

Общуването с хора обогатява и осмисля човеците.

Всеки ден към края направете равносметка и отбележете всяко ваше най-дребно постижение за този конкретен ден. Не търсете пропуските, грешките и недостатъците. Това води до песимистична нагласа! Празнувайте и се радвайте дори на най-мъничките успехи. Купете си нещо, посетете мероприятие, наградете се, изпийте чаша горещ шоколад, качете се на дърво и изпейте там любимата си песен! Бъдете смели и оптимисти!

20.Приемете живота, такъв какъвто е! В живота се редуват щастие и тъга, възход и падение, победи и провали.

Учете се как да бъдете подготвени за неприятните моменти и да не позволите те да ви извадят от строя за твърде дълъг период. Човек без стратегия за справяне с лошите събития, мисли и чувства, разрушава нервната си система и създава конфликти, което е основна пречка за взаимодействията му със себе си, с околните и със света.

Радостта посрещайте с отворено сърце и грабете по детски!

Не се колебайте да потърсите помощ от психолог, за да се научите как ефективно да минавате през живота, с всичките ми добри и лоши страни.

 

Полина Василева,

Психолог и писател

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